Life of VENERABLE MOTHER MARY VERONICA THE FOUNDRESS AND
THE HISTORY OF THE CONGREGATION OF CARMELITE RELIGIOUS (CCR)

I was born at Constantinople on the 1st October, 1823. My father was an Anglican Clergyman and chaplain of the British Embassy in that city. I had one brother two years older than myself and three sisters younger. My brother Henry was born at Odessa in Russia, my two sisters Mary Anne and Emily as well as myself were born at Constantinople, and my youngest sister. Catherine, in London, after our return to England in 1829.

I was then five years old and with my sister Mary Anne was put under the care of a governess who remained with us five years. About this time having removed to London, where my youngest sister Catherine was born, I met with an accident which nearly killed me. I used to see my brother and cousin get astride on the balusters and slide down the stairs in this fashion. So I, like a torn-boy thought I could do the same, and one day climbed up on the baluster to ride down to dinner! But losing my balance I toppled over to the next landing-place, thirteen steps further down where they picked me up senseless. And with a deep gash on the left side of my mouth; one of my: upper fore-teeth remained on the stairs and two others were hanging by the skin out of my mouth. I can only remember finding myself in bed where a surgeon had sewed up the gash and for weeks after I could only have liquid food. It was also about this time that I remember having received my first whipping. My dear father, who in truth, if he had been a Catholic would have been a Saint, had been giving my, little sister Mary Anne and myself a lesson on the Commandment: "Thou shalt not steal"-when the explanation was finished, he sent us away into the dining room to play. The tea things were there ready laid, and I, seeing the cream jug looking very tempting, took a teaspoonful of milk and put it into my mouth. My sister seeing this said, "Papa has just told us not to steal-I will go and tell him." So off she went and told Papa what I had done.

My father immediately returned, then and there administered to me a correction which I never forgot, saying "Sophie, I have just told you it was a sin to steal and you immediately go and take what does not belong to you." In my after-life I have been too proud either to lie or to steal for one generally goes with the other.

My mother was of a very different character to my father - She was very pretty and fair with blue eyes and long golden hair which she used, as a girl, to wear in ringlets down to her waist. But in religious matters she was deeply bigoted to her Protestantism and not like my father, open to conviction - She was altogether devoted to her husband and children and really sacrificed herself to take care of us, watch over us and have us brought up in the best way possible. We children used to say, "One word from Papa makes more impression than a whole long lecture from Mama" - and so it was. My poor dear mother loved her children with such an ardent love that she forgot we belonged to God more than to herself and thus she could never resign herself at first, to see that God called myself and my sister into the Catholic Church and then gave us a religious vocation, quite against her will and desires and this made her unhappy and wretched to the end of her life - She never allowed us when children to be with the servants or even to speak with them for fear they should teach us things which are not fit for children to know - when we were not with our Governess, my mother kept us with herself and I never heard any word which was either light or improper, so that we grew up and remained perfectly ignorant of what, through the imprudence of many parents, children's minds are full of, almost before they reach the age of reason. None of us girls were even sent to school. But the hours of study were as regular and we were kept to our lessons most strictly. My second sister Mary Anne and myself who were about the same age - there being only two years between us, always took our lessons with my brother and with the exception of Latin learned all his tutor taught him. Greek and French we talked from our earliest childhood, and my dear father used to have us three elder children come and read the New Testament in Greek, its original language, with him every morning. We learned music from the age of five years and drawing etc. from masters.

During my life I have made twenty-five voyages to and fro in the Mediterranean only - besides twice to the Straits of Gibraltar round to England and my voyage to India and back. I have crossed the Alps six or seven times at least and have been in nearly all the countries of Europe. I have been in London, Paris, Rome, Athens, Bethlehem, Geneva, Naples, Malta etc.I will tell you about my dear little deaf and dumb sister Emily and in order not to cut the story in two, I will also relate to you her happy death although this happened some years later on, in December 1848 at Malta. This dear little child was born with an organic disease of the heart which was too large for her body and which hindered her growth and development and she always remained small, contrary to us all who were tall like our Father. Like most deaf and dumb people she had sharp intelligent eyes and features and was also very fair and pretty. During our journey in Switzerland and Italy we visited several celebrated Asylums for the deaf and dumb and my mother got acquainted with the system for instructing them and got picture books etc. which were used to educate them, and when we settled down in Greece she set to work to teach dear little Emily to read and write and cypher etc.

It was hard and difficult work at the beginning as you may think - but little by little my sister learned to read and write and understand the Bible, and all that is necessary to salvation - of course taught in a Protestant fashion, but she understood and believed the spiritual mysteries of religion. As a little child, she used to get into passions and scream because poor little thing, she had no means of expressing her wants and besides she used to tell lies, but of course, did not know it was wrong. But when she began to know about God and Jesus and what sin was-it was really wonderful what a change came over her. She became gentle, obedient, and quite truthful - and as I was the eldest daughter I used often to take my mother's place and give her, her lessons. I took care of this dear little thing when she was ill and so I became like a second little Mama to her.

At Malta we had Catholic servants and our maid seeing little Emily was fast sinking, unknown to any of us went to her Confessor and asked him if she might baptize this little Protestant deaf and dumb girl before she died. The Priest gave her leave, for although Emily was twenty years old she was just like a baby in innocence and ignorance of evil.

During our stay in England we, young people had got imbued with the new Puseyistical doctrines then getting into vogue at Oxford, and therefore were full of devotion for Crosses, Church music, Altars and other ceremonials, and as our English Church was being built at Athens of which my father was the Chaplain, we used to persuade and tease him to have it arranged as much as possible according (as we used to call it to a High Church fashion.

You know that in Protestant Churches there are no crosses or pictures, all is as cold and bare as a barn - but we with some High Church friends of ours who were spending the winter at Athens, set our hearts on having a Cross placed over the Communion Table or Altar as we called it. So one day as we were all assembled in the unfinished church, we began talking of this cross and telling my father how nice and pretty it would be just over the altar and begging him to have one made and placed there.

We had the joy of seeing a gilt cross put up, and the little church fitted up to our satisfaction in a High Church style. The Anglican Bishop came and the Church was consecrated. The choir performed its part to the approbation of all. I remember I was so happy. One morning, it was Easter Tuesday - I was still in bed in my little room and no one was yet stirring in the house for it was very early. I was awaked by a voice in my ears or rather I heard with the ears of my soul, as well as with those of my body these words, "My peace I leave unto you. My peace I give unto you, not as the world giveth, give I unto you" and as I fully awoke I still listened to the heavenly voice which seemed retreating in the distance. I cannot express what I felt nor the musical harmony of this voice. There was not a sound nor was any one stirring in the house. It seemed to me that I had received a message like a celestial perfume which would escape if I told anyone so I never for years and years told anyone, but even till now the voice resounds in my ears when I come to the Peace, the last gift and testament of our Lord. It was only when I had become a Catholic that I could speak of it.

I must just tell you something of my youngest sister Catherine who was then considered quite a child and not cense put yet.

She had all sorts of Catholic instincts, even more than her two elder sisters. She used to maintain the Immaculate ' Conception of Our Lady against everyone and surely no one had taught her. She would fast and take the discipline with thorny branches of rose bushes, over her bare knees which were all torn and bleeding. Late in the evening she would take off her shoes and stockings and walk bare-foot all round the gravel walks of the garden to do penance. All her aspirations were after the life of a nun. She was a beautiful girl and one of the purest children I ever knew. One evening during family prayers at which Kitty did not assist, having been sent to bed, Mary Anne heard a mysterious kind of noise coming from the neighboring bed-room where Kitty slept. Immediately when prayers were over Mary Anne rushed away to discover what Kitty was doing and found the door locked-and when at last she opened it, she found the noise proceeded from the discipline Kitty had been taking whilst we were at prayers. The branches of roses were stained with blood and her lips were all bleeding! Oh, if this dear sister had only persevered in her first aspirations she would surely have been a Catholic and a holy nun-but she married some years afterwards and lost her first vocation.

Not long after the Consecration of our Church my father had to go to Jerusalem on some mission and wished to take Mary Anne and myself with him, but it being decided that only one of us could go, I preferred leaving this pleasure to my dear sister and remaining with my mother. My dear father embarked at the Piroeus for Smyrna and Beyrouth. He had made his will and my mother had had his picture taken before he left but we never saw him again, for he fell ill at Mount Carmel where the Carmelite Fathers had received him and my sister in their Hospice. A Protestant Missionary at Beyrouth, hearing that Mr. Leeves was very ill at Mount Carmel came and brought him and my sister away to his own house at Beyrouth where my dear father died on the 8th May, 1845, only a short time after his arrival there.

When they saw that my father was in such danger the English Chaplain of Beyrouth told him very gently that he .must prepare to leave this world. My father in no ways troubled only answered: "I could have wished to live a few years longer for my wife and children, but God's will be done," and then he asked to receive the Communion, after which he fell into a sort of insensibility of all things around him but as my sister told us, he seemed to behold. invisible objects and from time to time, with an air of calm dignity to wave off something on one side saying, "devil, fire," and then looking towards the opposite side of the bed with a look of astonishment "I thought it was so" - Who knows what God in His mercy revealed in his last moments to this dear soul ? He had always from his youth up, served God to the best of his ability and knowledge. If he had been in the Catholic Church he would have been a saint and I have the firm hope that God has had mercy on his soul. My dear Father k buried at Beyrouth where he awaits the last resurrection in peace.

Not very long after, I became engaged to be married to a young officer of the Navy who used to come and visit us at Castaniotisa, but we were to wait a year or two, and in the meanwhile we nearly all fell ill of the fever and my brother nearly died. It was necessary to leave Castaniotisa for change of air, and as my brother wished to introduce the Italian method of breeding silkworms into his estate, we all set out for Naples where we spent the winter of 1846-47 in a palace at Portisi with a family of our acquaintance.

  The climate of Naples did not suit me and I became very ill during the winter -1 had several very severe fits of convulsions and our doctor said I must return immediately to England for change of air. I was also much disturbed in mind, for besides other things I began to be getting near the Catholic Church and I used to go into the Churches to pray-for some invisible attraction seemed to draw me there. It was decided that I was to go on first with my brother to England, and stay with my future father and mother-in-law whilst my mother with my three sisters went to Rome and from there in the spring would come on to London.

The journey did me good and I soon became quite well so that when I rejoined my mother and sisters in London in the spring, I was quite prepared to accept with joy the new idea of going to Confession to an Anglican Puseyite clergyman to whom they had been recommended at Rome by some friends. So we went one after another to make our general confession to Mr. Richards, Clergyman of Margaret Chapel! When my turn came I was introduced into a little kind of half darkened oratory where I knelt down before a chair while Mr. Richards sat on another chair in front of me, beside what seemed to me a small altar, but I was not in a state to examine anything as you may think. These Puseyites had no confessionals at that time nor did the clergymen confess in their churches, but there was great mystery observed-Now I believe they are grown much bolder and do almost everything like Catholics. Well! I made my confession the best I could, and God knows with what pain and trouble-but I verily believe that God had regard to this very voluntary humiliation, for when I had finished and Mr. Richards had bestowed upon me an absolution almost in the same terms as a Catholic priest, which by the way he had no more right to give than you or I have, I felt so happy and so light, that I thought God had forgiven me! and felt entirely changed. Until then I was looking forward to my marriage in a year or two with great joy, but it seemed as if suddenly I had become completely another person-I felt as if Jesus had taken possession of my heart and that He had turned out all other affection and all other desire except to become a nun some-how or other. I worried my Protestant Confessor Mr. Richards to allow me to break off my engagement, that I might be free to belong only to God-but how I could not tell, for the Presbyter Communities of Sisters hardly existed then.

After refusing my reiterated requests for some time, Mr. Richards at last allowed me to write to Mr................. to beg him to give me up to God, as I wished to be a Sister of Mercy and could no longer be happy in any other state. I was delighted when the answer came, which made me free, notwithstanding his sorrow; and I rushed off to show the letter to Mr. Richards, who was amazed and said he had not expected such a reply which was a sure sign that such was the will of God-I tried to say something to my mother, but she got angry and vexed, and would not hear of such a thing. And besides as my little sister Emily was ill and could not spend the winter in England, we all set out for Malta where the climate is warm, leaving only my sister Mary Anne in England with Dr. Pusey and his daughter. Mary Anne wanted to become a Sister and persuaded my mother to leave her behind, hoping she might find some means to accomplish her design-but Mama would not give her permission, so my sister and myself gave all our trinkets to the church and put aside all our fine toilettes, dressing ourselves like maid-servants with print gowns and poke bonnets and long veils always down and so we used to go about London, in our confessor's parish, to visit the sick and poor. My mother was greatly displeased and disgusted at our new fashion of dress and religious prudery, but. Obedience is not a Protestant virtue, and we thought ourselves not obliged to please our mother on this point and so went on our own way till we left London for Malta, by a steamer which was to go round by Gibraltar.

THE STORY OF HER CONVERSION

One Sunday-it was just the Sunday in the Octave of X'mas 1849, Mary Anne and I asked my brother to come and pay a visit to Madame Demech where we were going for some business of our charge-Henry willingly accompanied us, as he also wanted to make this lady's acquaintance and there we sat chatting till my brother, saying he had somewhere else to go, and that he would leave us with Madame Demech, took leave. We desired him to tell Mama where we were, that she might not be uneasy.

When Henry was gone Madame Damech said: "Do you know young ladies that I expected a Jesuit this evening who is coming to say good-bye before setting out for Rome? His name is Padre Giuliano and he has been my sons' Professor in the college they attend. Have you any curiosity to see a Jesuit?" "Oh dear! Yes!" we both exclaimed "We should so like to see a Jesuit, and we can stay a little longer. Mama is going to her evening service and will not miss us." And so we waited, but Padre Giuliano only arrived when the evening was closing in and it was getting late. However, we sat down round a large table in the drawing room. Madame Demech at one end with my sister on one side of her and myself on the other. The Jesuit father took a seat next to me on my left and began to talk on religious subjects-It was on the Real Presence of Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament which we greatly loved and firmly believed, and his words went to my heart.

Suddenly I burst out crying and laying my arms on the table I rested my head upon them and sobbed aloud-My heart seemed melted - liquefied-I had never felt anything like this wonderful instantaneous change which I could not understand. Madame Demech and my sister were quite alarmed, wondering What had happened to me. The former sent her children out of the room and shut the window curtains and my sister came round behind me asking me what was the matter. I could not speak a word but the good father understood what was going on and as he sat beside me, laid his hand on my arm on which my head rested and said "Let her alone poor thing, it is grace which has touched her heart!" I felt so grateful to him for having understood me that I just lifted my -head and kissed his hand, which he immediately withdrew. After a while when I got calmer and they asked me what was -the matter, I answered that "a doubt" of my being in the true Church had entered my heart and that I must seek the truth in the Catholic Church. - My dear sister then said, "Well, dear Sophia we are both in the same way then; have you not remarked that lately I have been reading a book, which I hid away when you came in?" This was true, but I had said nothing to her, because I had such perfect confidence in my dear sister and we were so united in everything, that I waited for her to tell me herself what she seemed to be hiding from me. She continued "That book was Milner's 'End of Controversy' and in reading it the; same doubt of our Church has been pursuing me, but I did not like to tell you for fear of disturbing your mind, but now we can together go forward and seek the -truth." Father Criuliano then said that as he was leaving for Rome the next day he should not be able to help us, but he promised to speak to; 4iis, Superior, Father Seagrave, about us and bagged us not to neglect the grace we had received, but to pray earnestly and seek the truth, and that Father Seagrave would be delighted to see and instruct us. We told him that we could no longer keep the matter secret from Mama he immediately fixed the day for our reception into the Church for the 2nd February - Feast of the Purification of our Blessed Lady.

But we had to make our general confession before and as we could not remain so long away from home we were obliged to make up some excuse to my mother as best we could. Each of us went twice to Confession, the last time was the eve of the Purification and on that morning I asked leave of my mother to go and spend the day with a friend of mine, a young lady whom I knew I could trust although she was a Protestant-My sister went to pay a visit to the wife of our doctor and we arranged that she could go first to the Gesu where Father Seagrave would be waiting for us and that I would come about four o'clock to finish my Confession. And so we did. I told my friend what I was going to do the next day and as she lived out of town, when the time came for me to go to Church, she asked her mother to allow her young brothers to accompany me back to Valetta; and when there, they went on their business and I hurried to the Gesu. I found that my sister was still occupied with Father Seagrave in a Chapel adjoining the Church, where we made our confession, for Mary Anne would not go to a confessional. "For" said she "I would be all the time afraid lest Henry should by any chance enter the church, and recognize me, and besides" she added, "it seems to me that the absolution cannot reach me through that grating." Father Seagrave laughed heartily, as you may think, but he obtained permission to confess us in a private Chapel, where we were to be received the next day. So when I arrived at the Church I sat down on a low fold-stool, full of sorrow and apprehension and began preparing for confession, waiting till my sister came out and called me. After a while I raised my eyes and looked towards the altar, where I saw an officer in his red coat standing with his back towards the altar and looking steadfastly at me-I paid not much attention to him, for I was too occupied with my own thoughts at the moment - but just at that instant Mary Anne came out of the sacristy door and passing before the officer, summoned me to go to Father Seagrave which I did immediately.

I found dear Father Seagrave waiting for me, and I knelt down on the priedieu placed at the foot of a large full-size crucifix, with a lovely picture of Our Lady of Dolours hanging at its feet, and the Father sat beside, but I could not get to the end, and was so troubled and exhausted with emotion, which no doubt the devil also helped on, that I became quite faint and was obliged to sit down, not being able to say a word-Dear kind Father Seagrave left me a moment and brought me a glass with a little wine and water, which he made me drink and then telling me to rest awhile he said he was going to confess Mrs. O' Ferrall and would be back immediately-So he left me a little and then came back; and I finished my confession, but in the mean while it had become late and quite dark-my sister had returned home not to excite suspicion, and the lamps were already lighted in the streets-I was in a state not easily to be imagined, and I had to get home alone, and at night as best I could. The dear Father conducted me to the door of the Chapel, and commending me to the care of my guardian Angel, bade me go home.

My dear sister came into my bed and we cried together half the night. We were to be at the Gestj at 7 O' clock next morning. So we got up very early, and simply in Sunday toilette we set off to Church - In passing downstairs, the housemaid was sweeping and the man-servant opened the door-We just put our fingers to our lips in sign of silence-for being Catholics we were sure they would say nothing, and hurried along to the Gesft where we found Father Seagrave ready and an English convert lady whom he had asked to be our God¬mother. Mrs. Bowden was her name - She had two daughters and two. Sons, all converts - her husband was dead and had been an Anglican Clergyman. We all went into the Chapel where the evening before, I had made my confession - and the ceremony began by our conditional baptism-Kneeling on the altar steps Father Seagrave poured the water on my head and forehead saying "If thou art not baptized, 1 baptize thee in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost." My God-mother wiped my forehead and face with a fine linen cloth and then my sister was baptized in like manner. Then each in turn went with Father Seagrave into a very small Sacristy on one side of the Altar, to receive absolution and have the Excommunication resting on heretics removed and also to sign our act of Faith which was the Creed of Pius IV. When the Father said the words "I absolve thee from the excommunication incurred by...” I felt as if a weight was taken off my soul. Then Mass began, at which we were to make our First. Communion.

The Sisters of St. Joseph with their pupils had been invited to be present, by their Chaplain Padre Marchetti, a holy priest who was our God-father, and after my sister and myself who knelt side by side with our God-mother, they all received Communion - That was indeed a Communion a real Communion, Jesus Himself, Very God and Very Man--. The Good Shepherd, Who had brought His two poor Iambs from so far on His shoulders into His One Fold, the Holy Catholic .and; Apostolic Church, came to take possession of their souls by His Blessed Sacramental Presence, whom we had sought so earnestly and so long; and now we had found Him. We were at last "Come Home". Oh! Who can express what He did in that first Visit! I can only say and repeat "a whole eternity will not suffice to render Him thanks for that inestimable, unspeakable gift He bestowed on me, on that Blessed day, 2nd February 1850! It was indeed the Gift of Faith-and what Faith!-and 1 trust to carry it intact before the Throne of God for all eternity! - after wavering and fluctuating and doubting and trembling, now I was firmly anchored on the rock of Peter -What a marvelous change came over me - Even my own sister and those who knew merest were astonished, and myself more than they.

Vocation TO ST. JOSEPH'S

My brother who had gone off to his village, Castaniotisa, fell ill, and as he was alone, my mother wished to go and take care of him; but my sister Mary Anne also had the fever continually and the doctor said that it would be very imprudent to take her to a place where there was no doctor, and where fever was prevalent, so Mama thought of sending us both during her absence, to Syra, where she heard there was a Convent which received boarders, and to our great astonishment she made me write to the Superioress of the Sisters of St. Joseph at Syra, to ask whether they could receive my sister and myself for some months, and to inquire what we were to pay for board etc. We both were over delighted, but let Mama Make all the advances without saying a word, and I wrote to Sister Elizabeth de Chamouin, the Superioress, who immediately answered that we would be welcome as free boarders to come as soon as we liked. My mother would then be free to go to my brother. Curious to say, the English Clergyman offered to accompany us himself, and put us under the care of the Superioress, and my mother accepted his offer with pleasure- so on the evening of the 12th November, 1850, only a few months after our conversion, we embarked on board the steamer which was to take us to Syra in company with Rev. Mr. Hill leaving my poor mother alone on the shore. Poor Mama! I never again saw her till after I was a religious.

LEADING TO CARMEL

It was at Calicut that God gave me a vocation to become a Carmelite. I had been received into the Third Order by Father Marie Ephrem at Mangalore on my arrival in India. Little by little the conviction became stronger and stronger that I was to enter our Holy Order, but how, I could not see or understand.

The Carmelite Missionaries wanted a Third Order for their Missions, because there were not enough Sisters of St. Joseph for Mangalore, Verapoly and Quilon which then belonged to them. But I had no idea in what manner this desire was to be realized. And now that I was sent away to Burma, I must say, to my great grief, I almost lost all hope. However, God made use of this to realize His will and after the accident to my foot, I was ordered to return to Europe. My vocation to become a Carmelite became stronger and stronger, I wished to see Father Marie Ephrem, who had also returned to Europe and was at Rome. So I left my mother, who had become tired of having a Catholic daughter with her, and had sent me to lodge in the Convent of Marie Reparatrice, in London, and I was soon once more in Rome.

I arrived in the middle of the night and not liking to disturb the Community, I went to a hotel and early in the morning before going to the Convent, I went to Mgr. Howard's to whom I had sent a telegram, May 1866, and there met Father Marie Ephrem, who told me he continued to desire me to enter the Carmel, but that he could not help me; my vocation must be examined and tried, and he advised me to put myself under the guidance of Rev. Fr. de Ville fort, a very holy Jesuit, who was Confessor of the Sisters of St. Joseph, and he was to decide what was the will of God for me. In the meantime I was to have no communication with Father Marie Ephrem. After having talked also with Mgr. Howard, who promised to do all in his power to help me, I went off to our Convent where they received me very affectionately.

As I never liked having secrets from my Superiors, I had already long ago written to our Rev. Mother Emilie, that my desire was turned towards the Carmelite Order. Of course, she was much opposed to my leaving the Congregation of St. Joseph and now that she found me in the same disposition, I believe that I was a great grief to her. She tried all she could to dissuade me, and my holy director, Father de Ville fort, at first did not approve of my changing; but I persisted, for grace and the will of God was there and pushed me forward. Cardinal Barnabe", the Prefect of the Propaganda, who was protector of our Congregation, set himself staunchly against me, and as my cause was to be decided by the Congregation of Bishops and Regulars, he would not give up the documents prepared, by which they were to judge the matter. Mgr. Howard and another English Prelate, Mgr. Talbot, spoke in my favour to the Cardinal Prefect of Bishops and Regulars, and to Mgr. Svegliati the Secretary, who was disposed in my favour, but Cardinal Barnabe kept the documents in question. Just at that time an incident happened in our Convent which obliged Father de Villefort to decide and pronounce in our favour, that he thought I was called to be a Carmelite; and about a fortnight after, he died the death of a Saint. His death was an immense loss and grief to me. He had always been such a real father to me, especially in this long strife and trouble, which had lasted six months, but God per¬mitted that before he died, he should have decided in my favour, which was a great step gained. But I had still much to do - God however arranged all things in a wonderful manner. Our Rev. Mother General was obliged to go to Marseilles to the Mother House, and wished to take me with her. Many years after, I heard that it was her intention that I should take her place as Mother General of the Congregation. But certainly such an idea was as far from my thoughts as from my desires. I could have wished before leaving Rome that my cause should have been decided, and I told Mgr. Howard so, who consulted Mgr. Svegliati on the subject. This prelate said to him: "Let Sister Veronica accompany Mother Emilie to Marseilles, without any fear; it will be much easier for her to accomplish her wish of becoming a Carmelite in France, than here in Rome," and so I found it. We left Rome a little before Easter, 1867, and arrived at Marseilles in Easter week.

A few days after my arrival, I was named Mistress of Novices by my Superiors, greatly to my astonishment and even regret, for my heart was set on going off to the Carmel at Pau, where Father Marie Ephrem had obtained a place for me, as soon as he knew my vocation was settled. But God had his designs in bringing me to Marseilles, and giving me the charge of Mistress of Novices, for at that time there was a holy child amongst the twenty-one novices and postulants, with whom my life was, in future, to be united in a most wonderful manner. She was a young Arab girl from Nazareth, whom God had honored with the five precious stigmata of His Son Jesus, of whom I knew then absolutely nothing. When she saw me arrive with Mother Emilie from Rome, she went to her Mistress of Novices who was then ill in bed, and said, "Mother, a tall Sister is come with our Mother General and I love her very much. You will see, she will be Mistress of Novices." "I don't think Sister Veronica will be Mistress of Novices" "You will see" was the child's answer.

And so it happened. Our Rev. Mother was going to Paris, but before leaving she installed me in my new function, and then I was entrusted with the care of this holy child, and became witness of the marvels God worked in her, of her obedience, her humility, her charity, still more than of the blood which flowed from her hands, her feet, her side and her head every Friday. These latter gifts remain to be pronounced upon by the Holy Church. I can only say and swear that I have been an eye-witness of these wonders. This is not the place to enter into details which are carefully consigned in writing and preserved in the Carmel of Pau, and elsewhere.. I am firmly convinced that I was brought to Marseilles to be the means of conducting this holy child to her vocation as a Carmelite in Pau, for God so ordered all things that she/ was not accepted in the Chapter of votes for the reception of the holy Habit, as a Sister of St. Joseph, and that when I wrote to Rev. Mother Elias, Prioress of the Carmel of Pau where I was accepted, she immediately also accepted the little Arab postulant, and desired me to come as soon as possible and bring her with me; and thus we arrived together at Pau on the 14th June, 1867, the eve of the Feast of the Most Holy Trinity. I will not here repeat what you all already know from the written notices which I have sent you, about the Foundation of our little Carmel at Bayonne, nor how I was there five years, and then after its dispersion how I returned to the Carmel at Pau, to begin once more my novitiate, and lastly after my final solemn Profession as a Discalced Carmelite, I was sent to Bethlehem with nine other Sisters for a foundation there and after that I returned once more to my peaceful Carmel.

A few days after my arrival, I was named Mistress of Novices by my Superiors, greatly to my astonishment and even regret, for my heart was set on going off to the Carmel at Pau, where Father Marie Ephrem had obtained a place for me, as soon as he knew my vocation was settled. But God had his designs in bringing me to Marseilles, and giving me the charge of Mistress of Novices, for at that time there was a holy child amongst the twenty-one novices and postulants, with whom my life was, in future, to be united in a most wonderful manner. She was a young Arab girl from Nazareth, whom God had honored with the five precious stigmata of His Son Jesus, of whom I knew then absolutely nothing. When she saw me arrive with Mother Emilie from Rome, she went to her Mistress of Novices who was then ill in bed, and said, "Mother, a tall Sister is come with our Mother General and I love her very much. You will see, she will be Mistress of Novices." "I don't think Sister Veronica will be Mistress of Novices" "You will see" was the child's answer.

And so it happened. Our Rev. Mother was going to Paris, but before leaving she installed me in my new function, and then I was entrusted with the care of this holy child, and became witness of the marvels God worked in her, of her obedience, her humility, her charity, still more than of the blood which flowed from her hands, her feet, her side and her head every Friday. These latter gifts remain to be pronounced upon by the Holy Church. I can only say and swear that I have been an eye-witness of these wonders. This is not the place to enter into details which are carefully consigned in writing and preserved in the Carmel of Pau, and elsewhere.. I am firmly convinced that I was brought to Marseilles to be the means of conducting this holy child to her vocation as a Carmelite in Pau, for God so ordered all things that she/ was not accepted in the Chapter of votes for the reception of the holy Habit, as a Sister of St. Joseph, and that when I wrote to Rev. Mother Elias, Prioress of the Carmel of Pau where I was accepted, she immediately also accepted the little Arab postulant, and desired me to come as soon as possible and bring her with me; and thus we arrived together at Pau on the 14th June, 1867, the eve of the Feast of the Most Holy Trinity. I will not here repeat what you all already know from the written notices which I have sent you, about the Foundation of our little Carmel at Bayonne, nor how I was there five years, and then after its dispersion how I returned to the Carmel at Pau, to begin once more my novitiate, and lastly after my final solemn Profession as a Discalced Carmelite, I was sent to Bethlehem with nine other Sisters for a foundation there and after that I returned once more to my peaceful Carmel.

FOUNDATION OF THE THIRD ORDER

About the end of 1861, I was sent out to the Missions of the Rev. Carmelite Fathers on the coast of Malabar in India, to found a Convent at Calicut. I was then a Sister of St. Joseph, having entered that Congregation in 1850, a few months after my conversion. At Calicut we had for Superior and Director Rev. Father Marie Ephrem D. C., and I learnt to know and love the Holy Order of Mt. Carmel, of which before I knew nothing; and soon after, I understood that God called me to this Order. Rev. Father Marie Ephrem had received me into the Third Order (Secular) of Mt. Carmel, as well as all the other Sisters of St. Joseph, of whom there was another Convent at Mangalore. But this was not sufficient for the needs of the Missions.

There were then three Vicariates Apostolic, extending down the Malabar coast, that of Mangalore where I was, and lower down that of Verapoly and Quilon. Each one of these Vicars Apostolic desired nuns for the education of the girls in their Missions, but the Sisters of St. Joseph had not subjects sufficient for their wants.

I soon found out that my good Fathers greatly desired a Third Order of Mt. Carmel, founded canonically under obedience to the Superiors of the Order, from which to draw the subjects necessary for the foundation of houses for education, all along the coast where the young girls were entirely without any means of instruction. I also understood that it If was the will of God I should enter the Holy Order, but how to carry this into effect, I knew not.

I was at Calicut when first this inspiration came into my mind, and little by little it became a certainty to me that God would bring it to pass, notwithstanding all the difficulties that presented themselves. I had been sent to Calicut to found the first Convent that had ever existed there, and I had with me three other Sisters and a postulant. Father Marie Ephrem was our Superior and Director, and God blessed our efforts, for in a very short time the Catholic population presented a different aspect. When I arrived, there were hardly three or four of the oldest girls who had even made their First Communion and before a year had passed, on every great Feast we had a general Communion of about thirty children, and every Sunday several of the best girls approached the Sacraments. I shall never forget the great consolation I have received from my dear children at Calicut, and I can truly say that not one of them has ever grieved me. Every one, young and old, considered me (although so unworthy) as their mother, and the perfect docility these dear Christians showed was truly admirable. Father Marie Ephrem was their father, for indeed he was a Missionary after God's own heart. Not only was he a most distinguished man as to science, but he possessed the gift of piety in a high degree. He had a passion for souls, and knew how to draw them by gentleness and suavity, and give them to God. The good he did at Calicut, in a very short space of time, was truly wonderful. I need not say how beloved he was by all. Unhappily his Bishop, Monsignor Michel Antony did not allow him to remain at Calicut, but sent him to Mah6 and I also received the order to go to Rangoon, although everything was prepared at Cochin for another foundation which the Bishop of Verapoly greatly desired me to undertake. Even the house was prepared and ready furnished for the new Convent, But I was obliged to obey and leave my dear children at Calicut, who followed me to the shore to see ,me off. I shall never forget all the tokens of affection I received both from these dear children and from their parents-God bless them!I did not remain long at Rangoon, for having met with an accident which made me quite lame, and my health being entirely dilapidated, I returned to Europe by order of the doctors, to regain my strength. At Paris, and then afterwards at Rome, I again saw Father Marie Ephrem who had also returned to Europe for the benefit of his mission. He wished to make a foundation of Carmelites at Mangalore and had requested Rev. Mother Elias, Prioress of the Carmel at Pau, to grant him the religious, necessary for the undertaking.

At the same time knowing that my vocation to Carmel had remained constant and was even more evident than ever, he asked Rev. Mother Elias, Prioress of the Carmel of Pau whether she would receive me, to try my vocation and form me to the spirit of the Order, before setting to work to found this Third Order, which our Superiors desired so much, for their Indian Missions. This dear and saintly Mother, with that zeal for the grace of God which was her characteristic, and that charity with which her heart over¬flowed, entered immediately into the views of Father Marie Ephrem, answered that she would receive me with all her heart and even begged of him not to think of any other Carmel, but that of Pau, which would be at his disposal, both for the foundation of Carmelites of the Second Order, as also to help him to found a Regular Third Order for the Indian Mission. In the month of April, 1866, I arrived at Rome, after having, by permission of my Superiors, spent some months in London with my mother, in order to repair my health a little. Father Marie Ephrem who was also at Rome, then told me that, until my vocation to the Order of Carmel, should have been decided by Rev. Father de Villefort, a well-known and holy Religious of the Society of Jesus, who was the Confessor of the Sisters of St. Joseph, at Rome, he would have no further communication with me; for, as one can easily understand, Father Marie Ephrem would not take upon himself the responsibility of this change.

I then put myself under the direction of this venerable and saintly Jesuit whom I already knew for years past, who after thoroughly examining my vocation, pronounced in my favour, notwithstanding the opposition of Cardinal BarnabS, Prefect of the Propaganda and Protector of the Sisters of St. Joseph, and of the Superiors of the Congregation, who as I learnt many years afterwards, were thinking of me for their Mother General. I could not succeed in disengaging myself from all this opposition, although my cause was before the Congregation of Bishops and Regulars, because Cardinal BarnabS would not give up the papers necessary for deciding it, notwithstanding the repeated requests of several Prelates in high position, and especially of two English prelates, Monsignor (now Cardinal) Howard and Monsignor Talbot, private Camerlingo of the Holy Father, who both favoured my entry into the Carmel.

I give these little details, just to show that I did not quit the Congregation of the Sisters of St. Joseph, from any annoyance or feeling of ill-will towards any one of these dear Mothers and Sisters, . but merely and simply to obey the call of God and to do His Holy Will, manifested to me most clearly and repeatedly and more especially by several learned and holy priests, whom I consulted, to the number of ten or twelve at different places and at different times, who were all agreed that this was a true vocation. Since I have become a Carmelite I have always continued to keep up the most affectionate and sisterly intercourse with the Sisters of St. Joseph, who treat me as if I still was one of them, whom I shall never cease to love most dearly as having been the first cradle of my religious life, where I have spent sixteen years.

Hardly had we arrived at the Mother House at la Capelette when my Superiors named me, Mistress of Novices, and shortly after having installed me in my new functions, Rev. Mother Emilie left Marseilles to go to Paris, on some pressing business. I found in the Noviceship about twenty Novices and Postulants belonging to different nations. Among these latter was one, the least considered and esteemed, of all, but who was favored by God with wonderful *graces- She was an Arab and named Mary.

A few days before our arrival she had received the rare and marvelous gift of the stigmata in her hands, her feet and side, as well as the crown of thorns round her head. Blood flowed from these wounds on Friday, and as I had been appointed her mother and Mistress of Novices, I was witness of the marvels which happened to this holy child every week. This is not the place to relate in detail how these things were done, and how she was on the point of receiving the habit of St. Joseph. It suffices to say that, when her name was discussed in the Chapter of votes, she was not received for the clothing and it was only then that I proposed to her to come with me to the Carmel of Pau, which she joyfully accepted;

I immediately wrote to Rev. Mother Elias to propose this Arab Postulant, without however, speaking of the extra¬ordinary graces she had received. The answer came immediately. Reverend Mother Elias wrote to me to come as soon as I could, that her heart and the doors of the Carmel of Pau would be open to receive me and my dear protegee, I must here say that shortly after my arrival at Marseilles I had been and spoken, in private, to our Superior Msgr. Le Chanoine Olive, to expose to him my aspirations towards the Carmel, and to tell him that I was accepted in that of Pau. He answered me that the Church permits and approves of souls ascending the scale of perfection, and that assuredly the life of a Carmelite is more perfect than that of a Sister of St. Joseph, but I do not think he expected me so soon to take him at his word. Later on, when I saw that my little Mary of Nazareth had not been received for the clothing, I asked his -mission to take her with me to the Carmel and in consequence to write to the Rev. Mother Prioress for this purpose, Which Msgr. Olive permitted and approved of. When Mary saw that she was now free, as they would not have her at St. Joseph's, she begged me to allow her to leave la Capelette said she, "If I await the return of the Rev. Mother General (who was still at Paris), she will not let me go." This was -fectly true, as Mother Emilie herself told us a long time after.

Obstacles Overcome

On the 30th May, I sent Mary away, to go and stay some days with the Arab Priest and his mother who lived at Marseilles, and the next day seeing that I had finished the work for which God had brought me to la Capelette, I also quitted the Convent of the Sisters of St. Joseph to flee away towards the Carmel where all my desires were tending for so long. I left without saying good-bye to anyone excepting to dear Mother 'elanie, the Assistant, who did what she could to retain me- cut the hour marked by God was arrived and I was obliged to obey-God called me to the Carmel, and nothing on earth could stop me, not even the desolation of my poor novices, horn I left without a mother.

Our Confessor, the Venerable Cur6 of St. Louis, to whom I had told everything, laying his hands on my head as I knelt before him, said to me, "Go, my daughter, with the blessing of God and also with mine." And so I departed, and never again saw a Sister of St. Joseph, till the day when, eight vears after, Sister Mary of Jesus Crucified and myself, both -rofessed Carmelites came to la Capelette for a visit in company with the Community of Carmelites from Pau, on our way to found the Carmel of Bethlehem. Before going to Pau I was obliged to pay a short visit to Annecy in Savoy to see the Bishop, Monsignor Magnier, znd try if I could make an opening for the future foundation of the Regular Third Order, but I was soon back again, and having taken up my dear little Mary at the Arab Priest's at Marseilles, we both set out joyfully for Pau.

We arrived at Pau on Saturday, 14th June, the eve of the Feast of the Holy Trinity. It was 3 o'clock in the afternoon when the gates of Carmel were opened to us, and I had the happiness of being received with my little Mary, by the holy and beloved Mother Elias. This incomparable mother welcomed us both, with that exquisite maternal charity which belonged to her. It is impossible for me to express the deep and tender affection and veneration, with which I have been penetrated for this mother, since the first moment that I had the happiness of making her acquaintance.

She was a perfect Carmelite, and what is much more rare, a perfect Prioress. God had endowed her with all the qualities necessary for rendering her daughters happy, by conducting them to the perfection of their vocation. It is so rare that authority does not deteriorate a person. How often have I seen people, charming and amiable as simple religious, when placed at the head, become the plague of the community. With Rev. Mother Elias it was quite the contrary. Authority set forth her angelic character and the virtues with which she was adorned. She seemed born to govern, but to govern by love. There was not one of her daughters, even the most imperfect, "who might not have considered herself the best beloved.

We were in the month of September and Rev. Mother Elias wrote immediately to Rev. Father Prior of the Carmel at Bagneres to communicate to him. The orders of our Very Rev. Father General and ask him to come, or if he could not leave, to send another Father to receive my Profession. The Rev. Fr. Prior not being able to absent himself at the time, delegated Rev. Father Robert D.C., in his place, who came to Pau, and I made my Profession of the Regular Third Order after a retreat of twelve days, at the grating of the choir, in his hands, and afterwards I received the black veil with the same ceremonies as the Carmelites of the Second Order.

Mother Elias told me that I must now make out the Constitutions for the Third Order after the model of those of St. Teresa, only adapted to a life of exterior works of mercy, and made me write to a priest in Savoy who had promised to help us with the Bishop of Annecy, for our foundation in the town. The answer from this priest was "to come as soon as possible and that all would be arranged." We thought from this answer that he had communicated the affair to Msgr. Magnier whom I should find well disposed to grant me all the permissions necessary, to found at Annecy.

As for me, who was finding myself more and more happy and in my element in the Carmel of Pau, I looked forward with terror at the prospect of having soon to leave my beloved cloister, and go down again into the world - and quite alone, for it was not the will of God that Sister Mary of Jesus Crucified should accompany me. I besought our Rev. Mother to allow me to remain a little longer, at least till after Christmas which was approaching, but this mother so holy and so obedient told me that obedience must be prompt and that our Rev. Father General having said that the affair was pressing, I must set to work without delay.

Poor dear Mother! Her heart, however, would fain have kept me, for we were in the depth of winter, and such a winter! She promised me before I left, that when I had accomplished the work required of me, that the Carmel of Pau would be always open to receixe me again, and on the 15th of December I set out for Savoy.

Immediately on arriving at Annecy, I presented myself to the Bishop Msgr. Magnier, a most holy and worthy prelate, but to my great astonishment when I spoke to him of my intentions in coming to Annecy, His Lordship seemed quite surprised. No one had spoken to him about this foundation. The priest whom I mentioned above, without saying a word to the Bishop, had taken upon himself to tell me "to come and that all would be arranged." And when I asked of His Lordship the permission to try to establish myself at Annecy, he answered that there were already so many communities in this town, that he could not permit another foundation. My embarrassment may easily be imagined, and my regret at having quitted the Carmel of Pau with such precipitation. I answered His Lordship, who was in every respect most kind to me and who received me in his own palace, that 1 wished for nothing better than to go back to my Carmel as I could not obtain from him the permission to found in his diocese. The Bishop then said, that at Annecy this was impossible as the town was already overloaded with communities, but that if I liked to go and try at La Roche, a little town about six hours off, situated in a valley in the midst of the Alps, he could give me every permission I might desire. I hardly knew how to act, for I had come to Savoy by obedience to our Very Rev. Father General, and I dared not return to Pau without having submitted the case to him. I resolved therefore to go to La Roche and see what could be done there, and in the meanwhile write to His Reverence and await his orders.

I set off for La Roche on Christmas Eve, and there a kind and pious lady received me into her house until I had found and taken a little lodging, where I might await an answer to the letters I wrote to our Very Rev. Father Dominic. A poor, good girl was also found to keep me company and to serve me, but she did not even know how to fry an egg, and as I was about as learned in the culinary art as herself, I should often have gone without dinner, had it not been for the charity of certain charitable, kind ladies with whom I made acquaintance, and who sent me my dinner ready cooked. Especially a Madame de Polienge whose family was nearly related to St. Francis de Sales, showed me the greatest interest, as well as her husband and her pious daughter.

I remained at La Roche all the winter without being able to advance at all, in the design which had brought me there, and without receiving any answer from our Very Rev, Fr. General, to whom I wrote repeatedly; only my kind and saintly Mother Elias continued to encourage me and wrote to me constantly to keep up my flagging spirits. At last in the month of May, I received a letter from Rome from our Rev. Father Dominic in which he told me he had been very ill in Germany, and that this was the reason of his silence. His Reverence said he was very sorry I had lost so much time, waiting in a place where the foundation could not be made, and ordered me to leave immediately, to pass by Lyons, Montpellier, Carcassone, Agen and Bordeaux, where he desired the Priors to give me every help in their power to found a Third Order, for our Missions, which he added was an urgent business, "une affaire urgente" and to which he wished me to set to work with all my might. This letter was written entirely in the hand of our Very Rev. Father General himself, but he had not set to it the seal of the Order, which later on made some of our Fathers fancy it was forged and that I was some adventuress. Unhappily when I quitted Pau to go to the foundation at Bethlehem, I left this letter with many others from our Rev. Father Dominic, all relating to our little Third Order, each pasted in order, on the leaves of a copy book which I left in the "depot" or store room in the Carmel of Pau, where all papers etc. are kept; and when I returned nearly twelve years afterwards and asked for this book and other letters and papers, which would have served to prove the authenticity of the Regular Third Order, I found that one of the Mother Prioresses with her D6positaire had burnt all these documents in my absence. They were both dead during this time and no one knew anything about these precious papers. It was only after many enquiries, that I heard from one of the young Sisters what had become of them. I was deeply grieved at this irreparable loss, as well as Rev. Fr. Lazarus, Fr. Athanasius and others who were interested in this foundation and had known its origin. In order however, to rehabilitate in their rights of regular and legitimate children of our Holy Order, my dear daughters,, who for near twenty years have been labouring in the Indian Missions; where their number has increased, and where their; foundations have multiplied, I have had recourse to several of our Rev. Carmelite Fathers as also to Rev. Msgr., InchauspS Vicar General at Bayonne, whom our ;Very Rev. Father General named the Superior of our Third Order to grant me their attestations, as to the perfect legitimacy and regularity of the origin of this Third Order, called the Apostolic Carmel, founded at Bayonne in 1868.

At present, only two of the Carmelite Tertiaries who made their Profession with me at Bayonne, still remain viz: Rev. Mother Mary Elias of Jesus who has always continued under the obedience of the Order, and is now at Trivandrum, and Rev. Mother Mary of the Angels who remained at Mangalore, when the Rev. Fathers of the Society of Jesus took the place of our Carmelite Missionaries, after the death of Bishop Marie Ephrem.

At last I arrived at Bordeaux, somewhat tired and discouraged, for I had nowhere found an opening to begin our work, nor anyone who would help me. I presented myself at the Convent of the Carmelite Fathers, but I heard afterwards, that some of them had thought I was an adventuress, because the seal of the Order was lacking to the letter of our Rev. Father General; and I was on the point of starting sorrowfully the next morning for Pau. When I was making my preparation to leave, a Carmelite Father sent me word he desired to see me, and at the same time Rev. Father Athanasius of the Immaculate Conception, with his sisters, entered my room. This good Father showed me the greatest interest, and begged me to stay two or three days longer, for said he, after having heard my story and seen my papers, "I will send you some subjects as soon as your foundation is commenced, and I wish you to make some acquaintances here, who will be useful to you." He kept his word, and some of my first daughters at the little Carmel of Bayonne were the penitents of Father Athanasius. His Reverence has been the extraordinary Confessor of our little Community for a considerable time. He took all the trouble of coming from Bordeaux at each Embertide, and remained always three days, during which time he confessed us, made us several instructions and encouraged us in our apostolic vocation. He lodged always at the great Seminary, which was nearly opposite our little monastery.

I therefore remained at Bordeaux two or three days longer and then continued my journey towards Pau, where I was eager again to see my beloved Mother Elias and all our dear Sisters. However, this incomparable mother, after having heard all the history of my peregrinations and of my repeated disappointments, would not yet let me re-enter my dear Carmel, without having made one more trial at Bayonne, where our Mothers who had heard about this Third Order, offered me, to commence the foundation, the house which had served for them, during the time their monastery was building, which was situated close besiae their Carmel.

As for me, I had met with so many disappointments and so many deceptions, that I had very little desire to go further, $nd my tears flowed abundantly, when I found myself shut out from my beloved Motheis and Sisters on the other-side of the grating, behind which I had found a paradise upon earth. But Mother Elias said to me "Go to Bayonne, my dear daughter, and then see Msgr. La Croix our Bishop - tell him all, and visit the house our Sisters offer you - and then if nothing can be decided, we will open our doors to you and you shall come back."

Goal Attained

May, 1868. With a heavy heart and my eyes full of tears, I set out once more to go to Bayonne, but curious to say as I approached the town it seemed to me that a weight was taken off me. My heart grew light, and I felt quite happy and contented without being able to understand the reason. I went straight to the Carmel which is at some distance out of the town, quite near the great Seminary, and was received by Rev. Mother Dosithee and by all the Community with every mark of affectionate cordiality. They already knew my business and sent one of their Tourriferes to accompany me to the house which had been occupied by them and which was close by.

As I entered the little court, I felt in a moment that it was there I was to begin the work confided to my care. Peace and joy filled my heart, and I could not doubt, for an instant, the will of God. The next day I went to Bayonne to see Msgr. La Croix who received me with the most fraternal kindness,, he approved of everything, and granted me all the permissions necessary to found the Apostolic Third Order in the little Convent, which had been occupied by the Carmelites and which belonged to them.However, this house was let to several tenants, who could not be sent away immediately, and it was then agreed that I should return to my dear Convent at Pau for two months, and then return to take possession of the little monastery, and in the meanwhile write to Nimes to two young girls who were to come to me, as soon as I had found a place to lodge my first Postulants. I returned joyfully to Pau where I had the consolation of again seeing the gates of the Carmel open before me; and then two months after, on the 14th July» 1868 I once more set out to return to Bayonne, where it had been agreed that I should take possession of the little monastery on the Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel.

Our Mother and Sisters received me with every mark of kindness, and in the evening of the 15th my first two Postulants arrived from Ntmes. One of them did not persevere, but the other made her Profession later in the hands of Msgr. Marie Ephrem, and was sent to Mangalore where she became the first Prioress of the Third Order. Her name was Mother Agnes of Jesus. After High Mass the next day, Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, we went and took possession of our new Convent.

LIFE AT BAYYONE

Msgr. La Croix gave us as Superior and Confessor Rev. Canon Inchause who has been to us a real father, both as regards spiritual and temporal matters. He used to come every morning from Bayonne for some time in order to say Mass for us, and then return again later to overlook the workmen, who were employed in arranging the house so as to make it a regular monastery, and the distance was a good half hour from the town.

On the 2nd September, feast of St. Brocard, we had the grace of receiving a visit from our Very Rev. Father General, Dominic of St. Joseph, who stayed two days and came to bless and encourage the little Community. His Reverence spent the afternoon with me, listening whilst I read to him the Constitutions which I had drawn up, which he approved, and as I told him I was going to place gra-ings and turns (tours) he assured me, "Now you will have Episcopal enclosure, we will see later on to give you canonical enclosure." Ir was not that I desired such a severe enclosure as the Carmelites of the Second Order, that could not be and especially in the Missions. But as in this little monastery we were to have no exterior works, but simply a novitiate to prepare subjects for the missions, enclosure could do no harm, and on the contrary, it was a very desirable thing, and I kept this word of our Rev. Father General, as if it had come from God, and had the gratings and turns placed. I must here remark, that Rev. Father Marie Ephrem was still only a simple missionary. After I had seen him at Rome in 1866 he had returned to India and no longer occupied himself with me, except now and then a letter. No one had given me any pecuniary help for the first expenses of this foundation, and in truth it required great confidence in Providence to set to work with hardly any resource. I had only a small pension which my mother gave me of £ 25 (625 francs) per annum, of which 400 francs went to pay the rent of the house, to the Carmelites.

As Postulants began to arrive, some of them and the least number, brought with them two or three hundred francs' but most of them came without anything, hardly their little wardrobe. However, I never put myself into any trouble about this matter and it was wonderful to see how all we needed arrived just in time, from one side or another. We had a Superior in Msgr. Inchauspe, with whom I was perfectly of one mind in all things. He was so charitable, and God inspired him with such a paternal interest in this poor little foundation, that he used to say to me "If I had not my old father and mother to maintain, you should have all my income", and notwithstanding this, God knows all that he used to give us.

I asked our Very Rev. Father General to grant us Father Athanasius for our extraordinary Confessor, which he did, by the permission of Msgr. La Croix, and then Rev. Msgr. Inchausp6 desired to be received into the Third Order of Mt. Carmel under the name of Bro. Elias of Jesus Crucified. Rev. Father Athanasius sent me, from Bordeaux, some of my first Postulants, amongst whom were Sister Mary of the Angels and Sister St. Joseph who both went out to India.

There are now four Convents of the Regular Third Order in the Mission of Mangalore and three in that of Quilon, which contain, I believe, about sixty Religious. It is principally for these, my very dear children, that I am writing this account of the origin of the Regular Third Order, to which they belong, that they may know that their religious parentage is perfectly and strictly regular and legitimate, and they hold to the old root of our most ancient Order of Mt. Carmel, by an incontestable descent, which, it is my earnest wish and prayer, should be their greatest honour and glory in this world, and their crown in the next. I also write this account for the perusal of the holy and devoted missionaries and other ecclesiastics who direct the Communities of Carmelite Tertiaries in India, be they of our own holy Order, or belonging to the Society of Jesus, that all may know that they are the children of a work undertaken by Obedience, however unworthy and poor the instrument may be, to whom this work was confided.

We must again return to our little Apostolic Carmel at Bayonne, which was now arranged like a regular little monastery with a charming Chapel. Rev. Msgr. Inchauspfi had engaged one of the Professors of the great Seminary to come and be our Chaplain, after a visit from our good Bishop Msgr. La Croix who had said the First Mass, and left us Jesus in our little Tabernacle, after which he placed his Episcopal enclosure in our monastery. We had all our Church offices performed in our Chapel, even during Holy Week, when some of the Seminarists used to come and sing. We were very poor, but charity and union reigned in the little Community, and the greatest number of my dear children were burning with the desire of going to India, to labour for the salvation of souls. Bishop Marie Ephrem had been named Vicar Apostolic of the Mission of Mangalore and had returned to Europe to assist at the Council of the Vatican, but before going to Rome he was to come and visit our little Carmel and bless the young Community. We expected his visit with the utmost joy, and Sister Agnes was the first professed who was to make her vows in His Lordship's hands.

The ceremony was performed to the great satisfaction of all, and Msgr. Marie Ephrem entered our monastery and visited everything, but I perceived he was not pleased with our enclosure which seemed to annoy him. In order to be more conformed to his desires, I took away a little wire grating we had in the parlour, leaving only the wooden one, and we made some changes in our dress, putting the toque over our Scapular, as he wished.

I had not been able to pay for the repairs of our little monastery and then Msgr. Marie Ephrem acquitted the debt of 7000 francs, which we owed the contractor, and afterwards set off with Rev. Fr. Lazarus, his Vicar General, for Rome, where the Council was to be held, in which Msgr. Marie Ephrem took a very distinguished part. Everyone knows how the Council was interrupted and the Fathers dispersed. Msgr. InchauspS who had accompanied his Bishop, Msgr. La Croix, to Rome wrote to me that Bishop Marie Ephrem was on the point of returning to France, and desired three of my religious, to take them with him to Mangalore. He named Sister Mary Elias who was to be one of the three, because being Irish, she was the most useful, and the two others were left to my choice.

As Postulants began to arrive, some of them and the least number, brought with them two or three hundred francs' but most of them came without anything, hardly their little wardrobe. However, I never put myself into any trouble about this matter and it was wonderful to see how all we needed arrived just in time, from one side or another. We had a Superior in Msgr. Inchauspe, with whom I was perfectly of one mind in all things. He was so charitable, and God inspired him with such a paternal interest in this poor little foundation, that he used to say to me "If I had not my old father and mother to maintain, you should have all my income", and notwithstanding this, God knows all that he used to give us.

I asked our Very Rev. Father General to grant us Father Athanasius for our extraordinary Confessor, which he did, by the permission of Msgr. La Croix, and then Rev. Msgr. Inchausp6 desired to be received into the Third Order of Mt. Carmel under the name of Bro. Elias of Jesus Crucified. Rev. Father Athanasius sent me, from Bordeaux, some of my first Postulants, amongst whom were Sister Mary of the Angels and Sister St. Joseph who both went out to India.

There are now four Convents of the Regular Third Order in the Mission of Mangalore and three in that of Quilon, which contain, I believe, about sixty Religious. It is principally for these, my very dear children, that I am writing this account of the origin of the Regular Third Order, to which they belong, that they may know that their religious parentage is perfectly and strictly regular and legitimate, and they hold to the old root of our most ancient Order of Mt. Carmel, by an incontestable descent, which, it is my earnest wish and prayer, should be their greatest honour and glory in this world, and their crown in the next. I also write this account for the perusal of the holy and devoted missionaries and other ecclesiastics who direct the Communities of Carmelite Tertiaries in India, be they of our own holy Order, or belonging to the Society of Jesus, that all may know that they are the children of a work undertaken by Obedience, however unworthy and poor the instrument may be, to whom this work was confided.

I chose Sister Mary of the Angels and Sister St. Joseph, a lay Sister, and I hastily prepared all that was necessary for the departure, which was to take place in the month of August, at the same time as the six Carmelites from Pau, who with our saintly Mother Elias, were going to found a Carmel at Mangalore. ' Sister Mary of Jesus Crucified was one of the number - Bishop Marie Ephrem in speaking of this holy Sister used to say "My God! what have I done that Thou shouldst give me such a child of whom I am not worthy." All was ready for the departure, and I was only awaiting the summons to set off for Pau; with my three dear children, when I received a letter, of Rev. Msgr. Inchauspe returning from Rome (I forget which) saying that Bishop Marie Ephrem expected four Sisters, and that one of them was to be Sister Agnes. I was greatly embarrassed, for there was no time-. to make up her Indian wardrobe, for which quite other stuffs are necessary than what we used in Europe. I therefore set out for Pau with Sister Mary Elias, Sister Mary of the Angels and Sister St. Joseph, intending to explain the matter to Msgr. Marie Ephrem and tell him that Sister Agnes would be ready for the next departure which we expected shortly to take place.

On arriving at the Carmel of Pau, I found Msgr. Marie Ephrem there, but not having received a letter I had written to him immediately to explain the matter, he was extremely displeased that I had not brought with me the four Sisters he expected. I offered to send immediately for Sr. Agnes, but he refused, and at last it was decided that she was to go on the next occasion, as there were several other Carmelites who hoped soon to rejoin their Sisters at Mangalore.

I will not here relate the disastrous voyage of the dear colony, accompanied by Rev. Fr. Lazarus of the Cross and Rev. Fr. Gratien of St. Anne. They left, nine in number -six Carmelites from Pau and three Carmelite Tertiaries-but our holy Mother Elias and two of her daughters died on the way. My three children arrived safe at Mangalore, with the three Carmelites who survived, and a few months afterwards I sent Sister Agnes and Sister Cecilia to go and rejoin them. They accompanied several Carmelites who were going to fill up the empty places, occasioned by the death of the three holy religious they had lost in the way out. On her arrival, Bishop Marie Ephrem immediately named Mother Agnes, Prioress of the little Community of Tertiaries, and Father Lazarus of the Cross, their first Superior.

It is time now to speak of a Spanish lady who has been the great benefactress of the little Apostolic Carmel. Madame Pedro Gil Moreno de Mora, had just lost her husband, one of the first bankers in Paris, and also her eldest son, a child of twelve years. Only her little Pedro remained, for whose health she came to stay some time at Bayonne. She had a friend in one of the Carmelites there, who spoke to her of our little monastery, and this dear lady came to see me. Our two souls seemed to understand each other, and a holy affection sprang up, which will, I trust, last during all eternity. She is now departed for a better world, but as long as she lived we always kept up a frequent correspondence during the twelve years of my absence at Bethlehem; and all the time of my stay at Bayonne, she was always my most faithful of friends and our most generous benefactress.

I have already said that our little Carmel was very poor. We only had a garden about ten yards wide, to allow this young family to take a little air, which was insufficient for the Sisters' health. My good Madame Gil perceived this. I told her that I should have much desired to make the acquisition of a large field adjoining our Convent which belonged to the great Carmel, but that I had not the means of doing so.

One day this charitable lady came to pay me a visit, and showed me a diamond Cross and two magnificent diamond rings, telling me that on account of the stoppage of her income in Spain, by reason of the war in that country, she could not help me as she wished, except by selling her jewels, which she offered me to purchase the field and make the wall of enclosure. In consequence of this splendid gift, the adjoining field was soon bought and the wall around it, raised. Madame Gil also had the garden planted with plenty of fruit trees and vines etc., and besides, caused a beautiful little hermitage to be built at the end of the principal walk, in honour of the Sacred Heart, in which she placed a statue of the Heart of Jesus, and decorated with paintings, stained glass windows and candelabras. It was a little jewel of a Chapel. From this time Madame Gil had the right of entry into our enclosure, and she used to come often with her dear little son Pedro, a charming boy of ten or eleven, to walk in the garden, and to try to. find a little consolation in all her sorrows, by pouring them out to me, and we used together to shed tears over them.

She used to spend her time mostly in working for our sacristy, which was as poor as all the rest, and I cannot tel) all the different objects she has given us embroidered by herself: chasubles, copes, albs etc., besides candelabras, an Exposition for the Blessed Sacrament all gilt, and many other things-she entirely set up our Sacristy, and when the Blessed Sacrament was exposed in our little Chapel, she used to come- and spend a great part of the time with us, in adoration, and used to say that these were her days of Paradise.

BREAK-UP OF THE BAYONNE NOVITIATE-ITS CONSEQUENCES

At last came the break-up at Mangalore which sapped our poor little Third Order to the roots, as Father Lazarus had foretold Bishop Marie Ephrem, and which caused the dispersion of the little Apostolic Carmel at Bayonne. To quote from a reliable source an extract of the unhappy events described in detail therein. "Dark misunderstandings arose and the little Community of the Apostolic Carmel was completely upset. Parties were formed-the Superior Mother Agnes, and the majority of the Sisters being on one side, against the Bishop and a few Sisters on the other. Illicit meetings and secret discussions were held. Some of the Fathers sided with one or other of the parties, thus adding to the confusion. School work was neglected, except by Sister Elias who continued at her post, regardless of the internal revolt. Mother Agnes put herself directly under Father Lazarus, who was supposed to be really governing the Institute, and ignored the Bishop altogether."

The Bishop had to summon the Community and remonstrate with them "Disorder and revolt never come from the Spirit of the Lord. Believe me, my dear children, the Holy Spirit, is not in disunion and insubordination to authority, as has been the case here." To Mother Veronica the trial was as deep as it was sudden. "The great blow like a surging wave swept over her noble soul, and Mother Veronica bowed her head in humble submission. Far from embittering her, it only led her to dedicate herself all the more unreservedly to the love and service of Him who had dealt it." To revert to Mother Veronica's explanation of the break-up of the Bayonne Novitiate: Sister Mary of Jesus Crucified had made her Profession at Mangalore on the 21st November, 1871, and until then all had gone wonderfully well. This holy child had again been favoured with the grace of the stigmata and with many other heavenly gifts which the Rev. Mother Prioress and her Mistress of Novices continually pressed her to declare to them, which however, is specially forbidden in our Holy Constitutions (see chapter XIV No. 4).

Our Lord had commanded His little handmaid to speak to no one of these things except to her Confessor Rev. Father Lazarus and to Bishop Marie Ephrem, if he wished it. This silence caused the Rev. Mother and the Mistress of Novices to turn completely against Sister Mary of Jesus Crucified, and the two Religious persuaded the Bishop that she was under the influence of the evil spirit, so that from that time she was treated with the utmost rigour, as well as Father Lazarus, who upheld her father Lazarus was disgraced and sent back to France, as well as Sister Mary of Jesus Crucified, but before she left she said to the Bishop, "Monsignor, you are sending away Father Azad, before six months are passed you will yourself die in anguish," which prediction was realised to the letter, for it was the 5th November, 1872, that Sister Mary of Jesus Crucified arrived from India at the Carmel of Pau, and on Maundy Thursday of the next year 1873, Msgr. Marie Ephrem breathed his last during High Mass, nearly alone, for all his priests were assisting at the function in the Cathedral. Only Mother Mary of (The Angels arrived in time to see him expire, and shortly ivftor, the Mission passed into the hands of the Jesuits as Sister Mary of Jesus Crucified had foretold.

Bishop Marie Ephrem had already sent back to France, Mother Agnes on account of a letter dictated by Fr. Lazarus her Superior, where she told his Lordship that he was sapping the little Apostolic Third Order to the roots, by admitting subjects without making them pass a novitiate and that in consequence she gave her resignation which the Bishop accepted, and named Mother Mary of the Angels in her place. Sister Cecilia also, seeing how matters were going, begged to return to Bayonne so that only two remained, Sister Elias of Jesus, and Sister Mary of the Angels; Sister St. Joseph died at cannanore. At Bayonne, when I saw my two daughters return, both Mother Agnes and Sister Cecilia, and heard the account of all that had happened, I went and told everything to Msgr. La Croix our Bishop, who told me that he would never more permit any religious either from the Great Carmel or from the Apostolic Carmel to go out to this Mission. Sister Mary of Jesus Crucified had already told me that all would be swept away "at Bayonne.“

We were reduced to the last extremity in our poor little community. Madame Gil alone maintained us, but this could not last. Each one cast a stone at us, even the Carmelites, our next neighbours, who had always been so charitable to us, turned against us. After having taken counsel of Msgr. La Croix and of Msgr. Manandas, the Superior of the Great Seminary, who was then our Confessor, they advised me to dissolve the poor little Community and dispose of the poor Sisters as best I could. There remained only fbe or six with two Tourri&res, one of whom went to the Great Carmel.

The Bishop released from their vows those who were professed and I sent them back to their friends as well as I could. But dear Lord! What grief and what desolation to my heart and to my poor children! God alone knows all we suffered; as for me, I was broken-hearted and ill, both in soul and body.

Only my dear and kind Madame Gil remained faithful in her friendship to me, and became more and more affectionate and generous as everyone else abandoned me. It was agreed that I was to return to my Carmel of Pau, but my health was gone and I could no longer enter except as benefactress. I therefore collected all that remained of my poor little Apostolic Carmel. I tried to obtain from the great Carmel, to which it returned, what Madame Gil had given me for the field and, the wall of enclosure, but I obtained very little in comparison of what I had spent on this pretty little Monastery. I sent to the Carmel of Pau all that I could carry away, furniture, Sacristy linen etc. It was my dear Madame Gil who paid all the expenses of packing up and transport. Everything was offered for the new foundation of the Carmel at Bethlehem.

At last, when nearly all was gone, and only the Blessed Sacrament remained in the Novice ship, which we had transformed into a little temporary Chapel where Madame Gil used to come and have Mass said by the tutor of her little son Pedro, who served it, they all came for the last time and after having given us Holy Communion, the good Priest consumed the rest of the consecrated Wafers. Then I felt that the poor little monastery was empty. It no longer existed.That same evening when it was quite dark, dear Madame Gil came with her carriage and brought us all who remained, to her own house, as it was arranged that we should sleep that night under her hospitable roof and the next morning set out for Pau.

I had still with me two Sisters who were to be placed in Convents at Pau and a little Negress with whom Pedro liked very much to amuse himself, who had been confided to my care by the Rev. Father Blaise a holy Priest, who redeemed poor slave children and placed them in Convents. This dear little girl I placed at the Misericorde at Pau from where she soon departed to a better world.

We spent that night with my incomparable friend Madame Gil and the next morning she conducted us to the railway station. The poor little Apostolic Carmel at Bayonne was swept away. It had existed five years and three months less five days.

At Pau, I was received at the dear Carmel by our good Rev. Mother Mary of the Immaculate Conception and by the whole Community with the greatest affection. I also found there my dear Sister Mary of Jesus Crucified, and they all did their utmost to console me after all the bitter trials and suffering I had just passed through. I once more took the white veil, and re-entered the Novitiate. The year following on the 21st November, 1874, I, with joy, made my last solemn Profession of the Holy Rule of Mount Carmel "and this till death.” Madame Gil was my God-mother and as benefactress she had the right of entry, and thus I had the happiness of spending the day with her on the 24th November, the day I received the black veil. Her dear son Pedro also assisted at this ceremony with his tutors Msgr. L' Abbe" Lurdes in the sanctuary the latter was my God-father. Madame Gil Moreno de Mora has given a very considerable sum for the foundation of the Carmel of Bethlehem, besides quantities of things for the Sacristy. She has been benefactress of the Carmels of Pau, of Bethlehem and of our little Apostolic Carmel for a sum of nearly 30,000 fr. It is just I should also speak of the gratitude we owe to her dear son Pedro, now a young man of nine and twenty, who is just married to a pious and charming young Spanish lady, 28th October, 1889. He inherits the spirit of his saintly mother who departed to a better world 12th February, 1888, and continues all her charities. I recommend the young Mr. & Mrs. Pedro Gil in a special manner to the prayers of all my dear children in India, as well as the departed soul of their pious mother.

And I declare that all I have written in this little account is strictly true to the best of my knowledge.
In faith of which, Carmel of Pau, 3rd December, Feast of St. Francis Xavier, 1889.
Sister Mary Theresa Veronica of Jesus,
Discalced Carmelite.